What to do when you don't believe in your writing
Sep 05, 2025
Earlier this week, my dear friend and colleague Amy Ford and I launched our first-ever podcast, Your Field Guide to Fiction Writing.
(you can listen to it on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or right here on my website)
While we primarily discussed plotting or not plotting your book, something came up in the middle of the episode that set me on fire (and pushed us a little off track).
It was this simple question that kept spooling around in my head: what do you do when you want to write, but you've just lost your belief in yourself?
Or maybe you never had any to begin with.
Maybe no one ever supported you when you started writing.
Maybe the people who used to support you stopped for some reason.
Whatever experience led you to feeling like this, I want you to know that I feel it, too.
A lot of the time, my job as a writing coach requires coming up with ways to help my students find confidence with their work, even if they don't feel it right away.
That's the spirit of today's post: what to do when you don't feel it, but you need to.
Fortunately, that's where I operate best as a coach. So let's dive in.
The Art of Irrational Self-Belief
Of course, my answer to this question is simple: you just choose to believe in yourself. But like the advice "just start writing," that advice is only helpful on the odd occasion.
I'll be completely transparent with you: there are so many times I don't feel confident in what I'm doing. So many times anxiety's got me by the throat and I just have to deal with it. I'm not saying this to be trite - I want you to know that I get it.
Anxiety, self-doubt, and toxic thinking had me in a deathgrip for most of my writing career. It's only been in the last few years where I've been able to tell it to shove off so I can actually get my work done. Most of the time, I'm able to do that simply because I have a client I really don't want to disappoint.
But what if you're not a coach? What if you don't have people cheering for you? What if there isn't tangible motivation to get you to just do the thing you're scared to do.
You've got me, my friend. Just do it doesn't really work here.
But the concept still does.
Before I break it down for you, I want to give you my definition of irrational self-belief. It's so simple it's stupid, but it's probably one of the only things that has helped me become successful:
Irrational Self-Belief is when you decide to be quietly confident despite not having any evidence that what you're doing is working or will ever pay off.
It is an unshakable knowing that no matter what happens, you already have the tools, strengths, skills, and knowledge to solve the problem; if you don't, the right tools will show up exactly when you need them.
It's sort of saying, "I know this will all work out, despite not having any evidence to prove it."
I told you it was stupid.
But here is a practical example in my own life where this works:
I'm flat out terrified of airplanes.
I don't like flying. In fact, sometimes I have nightmares about flying. I've rearranged entire trips before, simply to avoid going on an airplane. This October, however, I have to be in California for a conference, and there is no way for me to get there without flying.
So.
There are a lot of reasons that flying scares me. I hate small spaces. I don't like being cooped up for hours on end. I get extremely airsick whenever I'm on a plane.
But mostly, I think it's because of the hundreds of tiny variables I can't control that stress me out.
What if there's turbulence on the plane?
What if I get a panic attack and can't get fresh air?
What if I'm sitting next to someone smelly?
What if I miss the flight altogether? What if I don't miss the flight, but I end up going to the wrong city?
Yeah. There are a lot of what ifs rattling around in there.
Some of them are silly. Some of them are not-so-silly. All of them are potential barriers to me going to California, which I really need to do.
My answer is simple: whatever happens, I'm confident I can deal with it.
If there's turbulence, I'll strap in.
If I have a panic attack, I'll just practice my deep-breathing for ten hours.
If the plane goes down...I guess none of this is my problem anymore.
This is irrational self-belief. There's nothing I can do in any of these situations except handle it when I get there.
Here's exactly what I do.
Step One: Decide how you want to feel
In my coaching group last week we talked about impostor syndrome. (It was an amazing session with my group coaching students). I got to share a lot of this and how it helps me through my impostor syndrome, which I deal with daily.
The truth is, I get invited to a lot of stuff without knowing exactly how. Writing retreats. Business conferences. Masterminds. I find myself on the way there without being entirely sure how it happened.
(I'm going to thank Providence for a lot of it).
Because I'm me, any time I enter a room for one of these things (virtually or not), I always feel like being there is a mistake.
Surely they didn't mean for me to be there.
Surely they didn't invite me on purpose.
At some point, someone is going to realize I'm there and tell me to leave, because my invitation was fake. The truth is, though, this isn't true.
People reach out to me because they want me there. And maybe it's the side-effect of childhood bullying, but I almost never believe them. I think, you just invited me because I was here and you wanted to be polite.
You know what? I got really sick of feeling that way, especially when people started going out of their way to find me.
I decided to decide how I wanted to feel. I wanted to be confident. I wanted to be collected. I wanted to be in a room, make friends, and feel like I belong there. I wanted to hear someone compliment my work and not immediately tell them they're wrong.
I decided that, in every relationship, event, writing assignment, book project, basically any vulnerability opportunity I had, I was just going to feel confident, even if I didn't actually feel it. You still with me?
Because I like processes, I came up with one to start cultivating this feeling whenever I wanted it, which is what I did in step two:
Step Two: take notes
It might sound silly, but I'll be completely honest with you: this works.
In my 1:1 Writing Coaching, I have my students build a routine that automatically triggers their creative brain, whenever they want it. This method is something I developed for writing specifically, but I realized not too long ago that it can work in a lot of different areas of life, too.
Human beings are creatures of habit. We build habits when we have strong associations to the action, either to avoid pain or to cultivate pleasure (for more info, read James Clear's book, Atomic Habits).
And I thought, what if feelings are the same way? Based on my findings, they are.
It's really simple: I just started taking notes of the things that make me feel the way I wanted to feel.
If I want to feel confident, what helps me? Here are a few things from my list:
- The Superman soundtrack (from the 2025 film)
- testimonials from my clients/customers
- kind things people say to me
- a good outfit
- putting on makeup
- calling my friend
These are just a few on the list, but every time I find something that makes me feel good, I write it down. I keep it on my phone as a reminder.
A few years ago, a coach I know told me to text some friends of mine and ask for words of kindness that I can keep for the times I need it. Three of my best friends delivered: they wrote me the kindest reminders of how they see me, and on the very worst days, I pull those out and read them out loud, over and over.
Step Three: Practice that feeling
So we have our list...now what?
Now, we practice.
I suggest starting this when you're already feeling good, that way you'll have some practice for when you really need it to work, but on the off-chance you're already feeling terrible, it's fine to get started now.
To practice that feeling, it can take a little bit of figuring out, but here's what you'll do:
- take out the list you made in step two
- pick something from the list
- utilize it to cultivate that feeling
So if I pick the Superman soundtrack, I'll listen to it a few times, preferably while I'm working out or walking around my house. Pairing it with motion really helps me.
If I pick kind things people say to me, I start repeating them to myself. You can call a friend if you want, but if it's in the middle of the workday and you're supposed to be answering emails, just repeating them a few times in your head should be fine.
Notice when that feeling starts to show up. Welcome it. Say hi to it. Thank it for being there.
("it" is actually just your brain responding to it. When you reward yourself for feeling that way, it's likely to happen again).
Did I mention how simple this is?
The hard part is just remembering to do it. That's why I suggest getting started now.
Step Four: wash, rinse, repeat
After that, things get really simple:
Do it again, and again, and again.
I wish there was a magic bullet for "feeling better" or "believing in yourself," but can I be completely honest with you?
That's not a thing.
Self-belief works more like a muscle. It's not really a feeling, even though we describe it as one.
It's something you have to practice. The sooner you start, the easier it gets.
The Before and After
Before I started practicing irrational self belief, I was a complete mess.
I had just started my recovery from a nervous breakdown that gave its very best efforts to ruin my life (it didn't, but here are some points for trying) and I had to literally re-learn how to do everything.
For a while, I was so weak I could barely make it up the stairs. I remember trying to haul laundry upstairs to fold and I could barely lift the basket.
I couldn't go anywhere by myself for a while. I couldn't drive. I couldn't be alone in my house for more than a few minutes.
How did any of that change?
Legitimately through practice.
Daily practice, determination, and cultivating this feeling of being completely okay in my skin.
Closing
If today's blog post helped you, why not let me know? Here's a google form where you can submit questions, comments, and requests for future blog posts:
(I seriously can't wait to hear from you!)
I hope this helped you today!
Happy Writing,
Rachel
